Blah Blah Blog

September 2024

Fri
20

Whenever I meet a realtor, I always want to ask, “what did you suck at before?”

Observations
Fri
20

Undecided voters aren’t stupid. They just stopped learning at an early age.

Observations
Undecided voters in PA
Tue
10

It was a great debate

My pooh hole was puckered up last night for the debate. But Kamala brought the heat and made Trump look like the blithering idiot he is. No one has dressed him down so publicly before.

Observations
2024 Harris-Trump debate

February 2023

Wed
15

Most Americans Now Get Their News at the Gas Pump

Observations
Gas pump tv
Thu
9

Instead of maligning a small group of women, we should start naming meltdowns like hurricanes. It’s not fair to all the Julies, Angies, and Jennies out there making a complete ass of themselves in public.

To make it even more equitable, we can alternate between female and male names to make all the Kevin, Todds, and Bobs happy.

Observations
Hurricane Karen

January 2023

Thu
26

I understand why there’s often more than one language on packaging. Companies might sell their products in another country and want to save money. But why is it usually French? Am I to believe the only other place Old Spice Night Panther shower gel is available is France?

Observations
Sat
21

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, 93 just married the love of his life. This is his 4th wife. So how many years did this old geezer spend not in love?

Observations
Buzz Aldrin and Mission Number 4
Fri
20

Who needs acid, ecstasy, or shrooms at my age. If you want a total mind fuck, just go shopping at a Target or Kohls in some other city than your own. Everything inside is all the same, but step outside in the parking lot and try to find your car. That’s a trip.

Observations
Target Anywhere
Sat
14

I’m at that age now, where the clothes I donated to Goodwill last year are worth more than clothes I bought at Kohl’s this year.

Observations
Goodwill
Sat
14

I have a really old dog. He’s 15 years old and he’s been having bladder control issues and sometimes he can’t hold it long enough pisses in the house.

So we bought him these training pads. They go on the floor, so your dog can…well, go on the floor.

Before, he used to bark incessantly to let us know he needed to go out. Now he doesn’t make a sound. He just sneaks away and takes a piss or dump in the house when no one is looking. For anyone who thinks you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, guess again. We have taught our old dog to be discreet.

Observations
Dog Training Pads