Working at coffeeshops

Published September 19, 2024 by Brian Maggi

One of the things I missed during the height of COVID was working in coffeeshops. Now that we live in a post-COVID world and remote working is the new normal, it’s time to return. I love working in coffeeshops except for a few minor things…

  • When the WIFI doesn’t work for shit
  • When every good table is taken by yoga moms bitching about god knows what
  • When you have to go to the bathroom five minutes after you’ve gotten all your stuff set up. Now you gotta pack it all back up, ask for the key to the bathroom and find out someone else is in there now. Then the toilet paper roll is on so tight you can only tear off one square at a time. Now you have to stack it instead of wrap it around your hand. When you go to wash your hands, even though you’re not required to because you’re not an employee, there isn’t any soap in the dispenser, but there is some in a store-bought SoftSoap bottle, but you can clearly tell they’ve watered it down to get more out of it. The only thing that has worked so far is the Dyson hand dryer, but everyone knows that thing takes just as long as the old school hand dryers. Now you come back to find some yoga moms have taken your table. But it’s okay, the one next to them isn’t taken. They’re both kind of hot so you don’t mind. Except the table wobbles and it’s impossible to type on your laptop.
  • Oh, and the only outlet is clear across the room where some asshole is charging his JUUL.

Other than that, I love working at coffeeshops!